Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
