That's intense
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Randomize
