i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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