Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize