went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
