Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
