yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
