i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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