Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
