I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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