She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
