Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
