I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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