Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
