Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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