I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I wear drunk well.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
