Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
