You really coming over, don't trick.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
