you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
