But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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