Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
