Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
