I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
