I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
