I think my vagina is haunted
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
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i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
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I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I party with great urgency now.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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