why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
