Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
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