Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
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She told me I should be a condom model.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
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It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.