haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.