her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
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He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
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It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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