i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
