i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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