Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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