...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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