I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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