im drinking this country out of the recession.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Randomize
