Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
