Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
