the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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