1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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