We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
