Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
wrigley field is MILF paradise
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
