C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
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