I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i think i have two assholes
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Randomize
