In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
