office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
