I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
