Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
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