exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize