I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
