how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
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just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
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I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos