You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore