why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.