All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
a search helicopter?!
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
you never un-have a 4some