What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face