I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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