Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
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Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
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I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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