your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
