Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Yo dont text me then not text me
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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