Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
