great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
