I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
