goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
