twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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